Rating: R (for sexual situations, language, and violence, including torture)
Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation. I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only. No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below. No copyright infringement is intended.
My Website: http://www.dragonwriter17.net/
Feedback: Yes, but only if it’s of the non-flamey variety: DragonWriter17@aol.com
Distribution: The Watchers Forum, The Mystic Muse, and my personal site (If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.)
Spoilers: BtVS Season 3’s “Bad Girls” and “Consequences”
Author’s Notes: : (1) I am borrowing quite liberally from the two episodes above, but manipulating their content for my own purposes. I am also changing the timeline and some of the events that preceded these episodes. For example, Angel never returns in this rewrite of Season 3. (2) I’m also trying out a new technique. It’s alternating first-person points of view. I’m not sure if it’s going to work, but I’m giving it a whirl. (3) And thanks, as always, to Lilly for the beta read and edit!
Number of Chapters: 5
Story Premise: Buffy and Faith become involved with each another, but Faith’s accidental killing of Deputy Mayor Finch threatens to split them up.
Summary for Part 01: Buffy finally succumbs to Faith’s enticing sexual charisma but doesn’t know how to handle the aftermath.
Summary for Part 02: Just as Buffy and Faith begin to realize that their feelings for each other are more than just lust, disaster strikes.
I was just messin’ with Buffy when I put my hand over her heart. I knew she had that adrenaline pumpin’ and was feelin’ that post-slay high. I knew it because I was feelin’ it, too.
But that wasn’t the only thing I was feeling. Something else was going on inside me, something I couldn’t identify.
Sure, I was feelin’ that lusty attraction I always felt around B, but this time it felt different. My stomach tensed up, and a lump formed in my throat. I swallowed it down, and then my heart did this kind of...I don’t know...shudder. We just stood there and stared at each other for the longest time.
Right when I was about to crack a joke and move away, Buffy pulled me close and kissed me. I don’t mean some slow and gentle kiss either. This was an ALL-CAPS KISS, baby! And she didn’t have to kiss me twice for me to join the action.
I don’t know exactly what happened or when or how, but the next thing I knew, it was hours later, and we were in Faith’s motel room coming down from another bout of—What had Faith called it?—Mind-blowing, slayer-lust-powered sex.
And that’s exactly what it was, too. I was soooo exhausted. Happily exhausted. Very happily exhausted. Definitely very. Sigh...
Anyway, after I had caught my breath, I turned over on my side so that I could see Faith. She was lying there, exhausted herself but still as gorgeous as ever. She seemed so happy, and when I looked at her, I just...felt my heart soar, you know? Like...this is it...she’s the one...I could look at her like this forever.
It sounds stupid, I know. And I realized how stupid it was when I tried to explain it to Faith.
Daaaammmn! I thought to myself. Double Damn. No, make that a “Knock me naked and fuck me till sundown” damn.
Sex with Buffy...between two slayers...holy shit...we’re like the fucking Old Milwaukee commercial...it doesn’t get any better than this.
Then Buffy had to go and ruin it by gettin’ all serious on me.
She called my name, and I looked over and found her staring at me with this weird smile on her face. I turned over and matched her position on my side. She reached out and stroked my arm.
“I was so worried about you earlier,” she said. “When you got knocked out by that vamp. I was so afraid that you were...”
She trailed off, her eyes filling with tears. My heart did that shudder thing again, and I felt my gut tense up. I was freaking out, and I knew it. But I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I always do—I made a joke.
“You thought I was what? Dead?” I teased. “Awww, come on now...you know I’m tougher than that.”
Buffy didn’t answer; she just nodded and glanced away, wiping away her tears. I got the feeling she had more on her mind, but she didn’t say anything for a long time. When she finally did speak up, her voice was barely a whisper.
“I need to tell you something,” she said. “I...” She stopped and swallowed hard, then looked right at me.
I didn’t have a clue what she was gonna say, but I figured it musta been bad. Otherwise, why would she be havin’ such a hard time sayin’ it? Was she gonna say it was all a mistake again? I held my breath and waited.
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” she confessed.
I froze. I don’t think I even blinked for a full minute, and the whole time my brain was screamin’ in total panic.
I mean, this couldn’t be happening...it just couldn’t. People don’t fall in love with me. They just don’t. Hate me, tolerate me, want me, yeah, but love me? No way.
And I don’t fall in love with them, either, so I had to do something. I had to do something right then.
Unfortunately, what I did was laugh—I laughed like her confession was the most hilarious thing I’d ever heard.
Man...I wish to this day I hadn’t done that. It fucked everything up. And not just with Buffy.
I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, I felt like a wrecking ball had slammed into my chest.
When I finally let out a breath, I thought I was gonna cry, but I forced it down. Faith was already getting a good laugh at my expense; I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing me bawl my eyes out.
I threw off the covers and started snatching up my clothes, which were scattered across the room. Faith was calling out to me, trying to apologize, but I ignored her. As soon as I had put my clothes and shoes on, I headed for the door.
Then I felt her grab my arm. I jerked out of her grip and backed away, pointing in warning at her.
“Don’t you touch me!” I yelled. I felt my throat constrict, and I had to choke out the rest. “Don’t you ever touch me again.”
Without another word, I stormed out.
I stood there like a stupid statue for I don’t know how long. Then I finally snapped out of it and realized I couldn’t let Buffy leave like that. I threw on some clothes, grabbed some stakes, and ran out to catch her.
She was near Main Street by the time I reached her. As soon as I came alongside her, I tried to speak up, but she beat me to it.
“Go away!” she barked. She didn’t even look at me as she said it; she just kept walking, turning sharply into a long side alley.
“Can’t do that,” I told her. “It’s night, and you’re upset, and—”
“Upset?!!!” She stopped short and whipped around to face me. “Upset?!!!” she repeated, only way louder. “Is that what you call this...what I am right now?”
I started stuttering like an idiot, not makin’ a damn bit o’ sense. I was actually grateful when a gang of vampires came charging down the alley at us. I tossed a stake to Buffy, and luckily, she clicked right into action. I took down one vamp, then another, then another. It seemed like there was an army of them; they just kept comin’ at us, driving us down the alley.
By the time we got to the end of the building, we had cut ’em down to a reasonable number. But then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Buffy get grabbed. I staked the vamp in front of me, then snapped around to help Buffy. When she slammed the vamp into the dumpster, I moved in for the kill. I heard Buffy yelling something, but I didn’t realize what it was until it was too late.
I knew something was wrong when the vamp didn’t go poof. Instead of a whoosh of ash, I felt something warm and wet coat my fingers. I looked down and...Jesus Christ...it was that Finch guy, the Mayor’s assistant.
I backed away, babbling, “I didn’t know...I didn’t know...”
Buffy tried to help, tried to get me to help, but I just panicked. When he looked at us and I saw him die, I just grabbed Buffy and got us out of there.
I tried to stop her. I realized at the last second that it wasn’t a vampire, but...I was too late. Faith stabbed him...right in the heart.
I-I-It wasn’t her fault, there were just too many of them. H-H-How could we have known Finch was going to show up?
We both freaked and ran. We got separated, and I didn’t see Faith until early the next morning. I went back to her place to talk about what we were gonna do.
She wouldn’t even look at me. She just went right back to what she had been doing when I got there: scrubbing the blood-covered shirt she had been wearing the night before. I begged her not to shut me out. I told her that we needed to help each other through this. She said she didn’t need my help. When I mentioned Finch’s body, she finally turned around and faced me.
“Okay, this is the last time we’re gonna have this conversation, and we’re not even having it now, you understand me?” she informed me. “There is no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn’t exist.”
“Getting rid of the evidence doesn’t make the problem go away,” I insisted.
“It does for me,” she said simply.
“Faith, you don’t get it,” I told her. “You killed a man.”
“No, you don’t get it,” she shot back. “I don’t care!” she added with a smile.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing...what she was saying...and that she was actually smiling as she said it. A man was dead, and she was smiling, like it meant nothing.
I-I-I was speechless at that point. When she went back to scrubbing her clothes, I just turned and left. What else could I do?
Later, at school, after Finch’s body had been found in the water, she acted like nothing had happened. And when Wesley suggested that we investigate the murder, she told him it was “no big.” After we left the library, I pleaded with her to tell the truth, but she just blew me off again.
I was losing her, I could see it in her eyes. Of course, after what she had done to me, I shouldn’t have cared. I should have said, ‘Fine! Go on. Just screw yourself up. I don’t care!’ But the truth was...I did care. I couldn’t help myself. And I wasn’t going to stand around and let her self-destruct.
I thought for sure B was gonna rat on me. I mean, considering what I did to her, I wouldn’ta blamed her. But...she didn’t. Not even when the cops came and questioned her. She stuck to our story, just like I did. Didn’t keep her from hammering me with the do-the-right-thing speech over and over, though.
I hit her with all the logic I could scrape up: how one accidental death didn’t amount to a hill of beans compared to the lives we had saved and how we shouldn’t get all worked up over the loss of some maybe-not-so-innocent bystander.
None of it flew with her. And deep inside, it didn’t fly with me, either. But right then...I was running on nothing but fear. I knew Buffy wasn’t gonna let it go. I had a decision to make, and I knew I had to make it soon. If I didn’t, Buffy was gonna make it for me.
So that night, I made it—I was leaving town. I was in the middle of packing my bag when Buffy showed up. She came inside and stood in front of the door, blocking it.
“I’m not letting you do this, Faith,” she said.
“Do what?” I replied sarcastically. “Avoid jail?”
She shook her head. “No. Ruin your life.”
“The only way my life’s gonna be ruined is if I stick around long enough for Little Miss Guilty Conscience to tell on me,” I shot back.
Then she gave me this strange look. I didn’t know what to make of it.
“I’m not gonna tell,” she said. “You are.”
I snorted and pointed at her. “You’re nuts!”
Then she took a step toward me and said, “Tell me you care.”
I felt my stomach tighten like somebody’d sucker-punched me. I backed up and started looking for a way out. But she didn’t stop.
“Tell me how it felt when you saw his blood on your hand...”
“No,” I said, shaking my head and taking another step back.
“Tell me how it felt when he looked in your eyes as he coughed out his last breath...”
“Shut up!” I screamed at her.
But she didn’t. She kept coming till I was backed against the wall.
“Tell me how you wanted to puke when you realized what you’d done!”
I dropped my bag and hit her. Hard. Her head snapped to the side, and she froze for a moment before turning back around. She reached up and wiped a bit of blood from her lip before pulling her eyes back to mine.
“Tell me you care, Faith,” she told me. “’Cause I know you do. No matter how hard you try to deny it.”
“I don’t,” I said weakly, unable to meet her intense stare.
She closed the last bit of space between us and put her hand over my heart.
“I know because I can feel it,” she said, completely ignoring my denial.
I was breathing hard, tensing up and then gasping for air, trying so hard to fight off crying. But it didn’t do any good. I let out a sob and just sank to the floor.
At that point, Faith just broke down, and I did, too. We spent the next hour just crying in each other’s arms. It was awful but good at the same time. I know that doesn’t make sense. I mean, who gets a kick out of sobbing themselves into a sinus headache?
It’s just that...during that hour...I felt so close to her, like she was finally opening up to me and not hiding behind those walls of hers.
After we got our crying over with, we pulled apart, but we didn’t let go of each other’s hands. She kept her gaze down and didn’t speak. I just waited.
“So...what now?” she eventually asked in a soft, hoarse voice.
I gave her hands a squeeze. “We go see Giles first thing in the morning,” I said. “He’ll know what to do.”
“And the police?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. I let out a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t know,” I told her truthfully.
Faith’s head dropped even lower, and her whole body slumped in defeat. I reached out and stroked her hair until she raised her head.
“You’re not alone in this, Faith,” I said. “Whatever happens, I’ll be there with you. I swear.”
She looked at me with pain and confusion in her eyes. “Why are you doing this?” she asked.
I cupped her cheek and said with a small but sincere smile, “Because I care.”
We kissed then, and in that moment, I felt my heart soar once again, and I knew—I just knew—that her heart was soaring, too, even if she couldn’t admit it to me or to herself.
As I pulled her into my arms, I whispered, “We’re gonna get through this. You’ll see.”
She just nodded silently and let me hold her the rest of the night.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt Buffy’s warm body wrapped around me from behind. I smiled for a minute, but that didn’t last...not after the reality of the situation came crashing down on me again. I felt myself starting to panic, and I eyed my duffel bag against the wall. It was still packed and ready to go. If I could just—
My crazy thoughts were interrupted when Buffy pulled me back against her and rested her chin on my shoulder.
“Hey,” she whispered, “it’s okay...everything’s gonna be okay...”
I swear I think she was psychic. I don’t know how else she coulda known what I was thinking.
I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but I couldn’t. “You don’t know that,” I told her.
She turned me over onto my back and leaned up on her elbow to look at me. “I do know it,” she said. “You’re a slayer, Faith, and you are strong. No matter what happens, you can face it.”
The way she looked at me, the way she said those words...I almost believed her. Almost.
When the girls arrived at my office that morning, I could tell immediately that something was very wrong. Faith’s usual exuberance was completely absent; instead, she seemed withdrawn, almost traumatized. Buffy looked careworn as well, but it was clear by her actions that her concerns were solely for Faith. I invited them to sit down and asked them what was wrong.
I couldn’t have been more stunned when they told me what had happened. Together the two of them narrated the events of the evening before last—how they had been attacked by the vampires, how Deputy Mayor Finch had been essentially caught in the crossfire, how they had been questioned by the police.
“Giles, this wasn’t Faith’s fault,” Buffy pleaded. “We’ve got to do something so Faith isn’t—”
I held up my hand to stop Buffy’s plea. Then I looked at them both intently. Or tried to, at least. Faith hadn’t met my eyes for more than a second since she’d sat down.
“This is not the first time something like this has happened,” I told them.
“It’s not?” Buffy asked, relief in her voice. She looked over at Faith, who had finally raised her head.
“Slayers are on the front line of a nightly war,” I said. “It’s-it’s tragic, but accidents have happened.”
“W-W-What do you do?” Buffy asked.
“Well, normally the Council would investigate, and um, mete out punishment if punishment is due, but I...I have no plans to involve them. In my opinion, their participation would needlessly complicate the situation.”
“What about the police?” Faith ventured.
“From what you two have said, the police don’t seem to have anything more than a vague description from witnesses,” I told them. “If they’d had anything more, they would have arrested you on the spot.”
I tried to go on reassuring the girls, but then Wesley arrived, making that task nearly impossible.
As I came into the library, I instantly saw that, yet again, Mr. Giles was briefing the slayers without my presence. I was incensed, naturally. He wasn’t supposed to be talking to them at all. I was the official watcher assigned to Sunnydale, and the slayers were my responsibility, not his. He had no right to interfere. I pulled back my shoulders and strode toward his office, determined to give him a piece of my mind.
As I entered, however, I saw their grave expressions. I put aside my personal complaint and inquired what was the matter. They tried to dodge the question, but at my firm insistence, they capitulated and complied with my command.
I was shocked by the story that they then related to me. A slayer killing a human? This was a disaster of monumental proportions!
Seeing the alarm on my face, Mr. Giles assured me, “Not to worry. The police have no direct evidence linking either Faith or Buffy to the crime. I recommend that they keep a low profile but resume their duties as usual.”
“We must inform the Council at once,” I protested. “Protocol clearly states that—”
“I’m well aware of the protocol,” Mr. Giles said, cutting me off.
He raised his hand to prevent any further objections on my part, and then he went on.
“What happened here was an accident,” he said. “An unfortunate one, but an accident nonetheless. Why waste months of time with the Council bureaucracy, waiting for them to figure out what we already know?” He chuckled and added, “My God, man...think of the paperwork!”
I chuckled back. “It would be quite tedious. And I’d be the one stuck doing it!”
“Then we’re agreed?” he asked, clapping me on the shoulder. “We’ll not contact the Council about this?”
“Agreed,” I said with a smile.
When Mr. Giles turned back to the slayers, I turned away, letting my smile slip into a frown. I hated lying, but protocol was protocol, after all. The Council would have to be informed immediately.
TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 03...